Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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