she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
