If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
