did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
