I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize