this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
