I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
