Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
