Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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