I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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