every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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