When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Randomize
