oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
Randomize
