i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
I just had sex on a roof
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
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