he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
