I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Randomize
