After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Randomize