I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Randomize
