Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Randomize
