we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
The air taste purple.
Randomize
