i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
