I like my sex mixed with concussions.
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Randomize
