yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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