Im at strip club and am horny
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Randomize
