if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Randomize
