you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
