The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Randomize
