All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
Barsexuality is the new black.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Randomize
