discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
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