Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
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