is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
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