In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Randomize
