I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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