why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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