She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
