Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize