You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
