That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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