I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
