im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Randomize
