when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
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