tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize
