also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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