Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Randomize
