Sry I called you an 8
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Randomize
