I am in a vortex of obligation.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
