is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Randomize
