Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
