break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
