glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Randomize
