Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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