I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
