Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
