I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Randomize
