you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
You are the jesus of drinking
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
