if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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