he puts the penis in happiness.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
