At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
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