Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
