hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
