theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
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