well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
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