how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Randomize
