My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Randomize
