the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Let's get the cat blown out
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
