he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
